Tuesday, March 8, 2016

A Letter to a Father on the Playground

Dear Father on the Playground,

I know what some people think when they see you. They think - "Oh, it must be dad's day to babysit." Or, "Oh sweet, it's daddy duty." Or, "How nice, he's giving mom a break." I'll bet some people even say those things to you.

But you know what? I acknowledge you in a different way. You are not a babysitter. You are a parent, taking care of his children. I don't know you personally, so I don't know your schedule or your routines or the number of hours you are with your kids. Those things don't matter. What matters is that you are taking care of your children. And your children are lucky for that. Just as they are lucky for the care of their mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sitters, or any other adults who are in turn lucky to have their charge.

You see, I used to think some of those things when my husband took care of my son. And perhaps worse, I'd get annoyed when things were not done my way. I'd see the phone out, or the TV on, and I'd nearly explode. My annoyance often overshadowed the moments spent building train tracks or going scooter shopping or teaching my son to draw. But I'm starting to see that children need lots of caregivers who do things in different ways, who encourage different parts of the children's development, who provide different models for ways to be an adult.

Have a great afternoon. It's a lovely day and I'm glad to be alongside a fellow parent.

Anna

7 comments:

  1. What a wonderful realization. This is something I will carry with me as I move towards having children. I must remember that my husband is not a replacement for me when I'm not there, but another parent with their own way of doing things, both of which are helping my child to become a well-rounded adult. Thank you for the insight.

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  2. Lovely. It's funny that at this point in history people still jump to conclusions about taking care of the family being mom's job, and dad is just helping out. But it is what we think! And it is what many dads think too. Sad.

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  3. I loved this:But I'm starting to see that children need lots of caregivers who do things in different ways, who encourage different parts of the children's development, who provide different models for ways to be an adult.
    I second that...it is crucial!

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  4. I loved this:But I'm starting to see that children need lots of caregivers who do things in different ways, who encourage different parts of the children's development, who provide different models for ways to be an adult.
    I second that...it is crucial!

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  5. Yes! So important! My husband and I couldn't believe how many people said things like "oh, he changes diapers?!" when we had our baby! Like... yes... he's one half of this parenting team! Such a shock to see how old-fashioned beliefs are still so prevalent!

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  6. I wholeheartedly agree! I feel bad for the dads who are so limited by these gender roles, that they too feel like they are babysitting their own children.

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  7. Love, love, love this. My mom and I often talk about how daddy time is not babysitting time but time together. A father and child bonding in only the way they can. I like how you acknowledge that each caregiver is different and each have valuable things to offer, in often different ways.

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