Wednesday, March 9, 2016

A Letter to My Mother

Dear Mom,

I know you are sad. I know you miss dad. I miss him too, every day. I miss his voice, his laugh. I miss his constant positivity and joie de vivre. I miss his loyalty and his constant drive to put his family first. I miss the way he brought us all together in that understated way of his.

I know you miss all of these things, and things I can't begin to understand. He was your life partner, your best friend. I know you don't want to live alone.

I know I'm not a replacement for dad. None of us are. But I'm here for you. We are all in this together. I hope that being with your grandsons gives you purpose and joy.

Of course, it's okay to be brokenhearted. We are! It's okay to lose yourself in the sadness for a while.

There is a new kind of normal we have to discover now. Life without our beacon, golden years that are not the way you'd planned them. But we can find a way forward together. Don't give up. Don't let negativity and despair overtake you. Don't let grief define you. You are so much more than grief. You are vibrant, connected, helpful, hopeful. Don't let these things disappear. I'm not ready to lose you too.

Though it will never be okay that dad is gone, it will be okay to go on living without him.

Love,
Your Daughter

7 comments:

  1. My heart aches for you and your mom. Losing a Dad is so difficult. We find a way to keep going. Thanks for sharing this honest post.

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  2. What a touching and honest letter to your mom, to someone deep in the pain of loss. I hope your mom does read it. My heart goes out to her and to you to have lost one parent and see another in such pain.

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  3. Oh gosh, so so sweet of you to help your mom find a way to move forward and find a new normal. It sounds like she has a wonderful support group, and hopefully in time she will find peace and contentment.

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  4. What an honest meditation on the loss of your dad and the grief that has overtaken your mother. I am so glad that you expressed your needs, too, while acknowledging and making space for your mom's sadness.

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  5. What an honest meditation on the loss of your dad and the grief that has overtaken your mother. I am so glad that you expressed your needs, too, while acknowledging and making space for your mom's sadness.

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  6. Yes, it is okay to lose ourselves in sadness sometimes. We need to remember this and treat grief w/ respect. It's normal and different for each person.

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  7. So sorry for your loss. Losing a dad isn't easy,losing a life's partner is difficult. You have acknowledged so much that your mom is going thru. Just be there for her. With God's help you will work through this difficult time. Hugs

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