A Letter To Ollie

Dear Ollie,

As I type this, your little hand rests on mine. You make the gurgling, sighing sounds I've come to know as I know my own voice. This is striking considering a few months ago, I didn't know you yet. You were nestled safely inside my body. Now, you are a separate entity, your own little person in the process of becoming.

Two years ago, your brother was like you are now. And while he has the unique position of being my first baby, you have the unique position of being my second. He helped me blaze a path to motherhood. He helped me navigate the twists and turns, the perils of this new journey. But you, you my son, you get to relax a bit more with me. You get to be simply enjoyed while I let the path take its familiar, yet not identical, course.

Two years ago, during this same March writing challenge, I wrote the following two poems for your brother. I didn't know it yet, but I was writing them for you, too. 

With my whole heart.



Bedtime 

Could life bestow a greater gift 
Than that of a sleeping baby?
Here he is, nestled against your chest 
His hands caressing your shirt, 
His lips suckling as he slumbers. 
You are his earth, his sky, his stars. 
You are that for him, and him alone, 
No one else could need you this much. 
And because you are his universe,
You love him more than you thought possible. 
You would tear down mountains for him,
And build them back up. 
You would swim rivers and hike tundras 
If he needed you. 
You would rearrange the stars, stare at the sun. 

Because at this moment, he belongs to you alone. 


Morning 

The only thing as sweet as bedtime 
Is the first moment of the day 
That eyeful of trust and love
Coos and gurgles and yelps 
Your baby's whole little body jumping to greet you
His arms grab for your hands
His legs beat the air like rudders
If he could fly to you
He would.